12 days ago I had my breast implants removed. 375 cc in my left and 415 cc in my right. I had them put in on my 40th birthday, April 26, 2023.

Reasons I got them in:

• Self betrayal. I’m just going to say it. I got them in as a power move. I couldn’t have admitted that when I chose to get them though. I think I was angry at the men – 3 in particular but likely more if I had to really go down the line – who I felt hurt by (and allowed to hurt me) and getting implants felt like a powerful step in the direction of: F-U.
• I was “flat on all sides.” I had a muscular small boyish figure and implants felt like a way to feminize my physique.
• My existing breasts were deflated, empty and I had loose skin where my breasts used to be filled with milk & fat.
• Impatience.

Reasons I got them out:

• I liked my body and chest prior to implants much more than when I had my implants – I at least liked how my body functioned
• systemic inflammation, brain fog, fatigue, anxiety, blurred vision at times and reduced immunity
• I had gut issues from the time I got my implants. I went from steady digestion, erring on the side of constipation to bowels that felt inconsistent and incomplete.
• I developed a lower belly “pooch” that wasn’t there prior. I attributed this to either diet or turning 40.

The first year was kinda fun – they were cute, a little big if you ask me. I didn’t make the final decision, my doctor did and I don’t blame him. I’m 5’9″ and small boobs on my long frame might have missed the point of getting implants all together so he chose wisely – he also chose a size that slotted into the breast-pocket I had prior to losing some body fat and breast feeding. Boobs have a way of deflating themselves if you know what I mean.

2.5 years was a blip of time to have them in. Most women keep theirs for at least 10 if not 20 years before either exchanging them for new one’s or having them removed. I’ve heard some women keep them in upwards of 40 years. The shelf life of an implant is roughly 10-13 years before they cause problems or expire. So why the rush?

Right around the 2nd year of having implants I noticed I was feeling less physically resilient. Fatigue, brain fog, lack of mental clarity and loads of inflammation would come and go. I developed this lower belly pooch that came out of nowhere but made sense when I thought about how as of getting my implants my digestion seemed to suffer. I had started exploring breast explant surgery and even started talking about it to family and friends but chose to do a process of elimination first. I swung from vegan to carnivore practically overnight.

After 100 days on a meat based diet – I learned my diet was probably the least of my worries. I left the carnivore world with 10 pounds to lose and a surgery date on the books. I relented to work the with the doctor who put them in because he’d take them out the same way they were implanted: through my armpits. He’s board certified and skilled at his craft, I think my only hesitancy prior to booking with him was wondering if I could get a cheaper price or if I should get a complete capsultectomy. I paid 8k to have them removed through the armpit whereas a total removal of the capsule would cost 12-24k (jaw drop).

The whole process felt like the price of getting married compared to getting divorced.

Scheduling the consultation, pre op and surgery dates felt destined. It was easy, there were zero road blocks and barely any waiting time. By the time I had my consult I was 3 weeks away from surgery so it was just a matter of getting preparation. I spent the next three weeks digesting the reality that in a months time I’d be recovering from surgery, likely in pain and reuniting with an aesthetic version of myself I hadn’t seen in a couple years. Some women haven’t seen their implant-free body in more than 20.

I wasn’t afraid:

• to reunite with myself or my old body
• to recover or take the time off to do so
• to see my deflated chest

I was afraid to:

• unknown complications
• not being able to move/exercise
• if I’d be able to bounce back how I wanted

How I set my self up for recovery:

– I meal prepped: tuna salad, baked tofu, fresh fruit, bone broth, collagen + herbal tea

– I bought 2 compression bras from Boody Wear. Their bras are made from bamboo and they appeared cute and inconspicuous enough to wear under mostly anything

How recovery has been so far:

– I’m only two weeks post op as I write this: my lymph nodes are swollen and I have what’s called a “cord” running down my left arm. My range of motion is limited to shoulder length but I can carry upwards of 20 lbs without any issue. I’ve definitely pushed it on daily activities. I’m cleaning, cooking, commuting, working and walking upwards of 10k a day. I’m not comfortable but I’m getting through the day and I’m sleeping well at night which is a huge life saver.

– I’m experiencing a bit of depression if I’m going to be totally honest. I’m unsure if it’s a lymphatic issue or just a post operative sadness issue but it’s common to experience low lows after surgery so I’m doing my best not to gaslight myself nor am I trying to catastrophize.

– Today is thanksgiving so I have to note that my kids being at their dads for the 4th year in a row is a big bummer. My husband and I are on separate pages so things are feeling rather lonely around these parts so I’m buffering my day with cooking and planning a beach jaunt with my dog.

Onward:

I’ve emailed the Clinical RN on staff who’s available to answer my questions, reassure my worries and support my recovery. This isn’t easy but I’d rather live with the reassurance that my implants are out than the big question: “could I be doing something that’s hurting me?” Implants are a silent deterrent and detriment to many women who will brave many other paths before having their implants removed (like I did with Carnivore). I’m sort of holding out for the day that I see it all crystal clearly.

What is crystal clear to me now is – I’ve spent the last 2.5 years building my private practice, trying to get a name for myself in the community and dodging insecurities. What I haven’t been doing is building my wealth and focusing on my future. All of that I’m proactively changing as we speak. I’ve begun automatically depositing money into my Roth IRA, creating a brokerage account, investing in stocks, ETF’s & holding out for dividends so I can reinvest those and pay off my consumer debt. I’m focused you could say and I’m grateful for that.

I will absolutely update this blog with future progress.

Thanks for being here, xo

Katie